Its my turn

I woke up today to a phone call. It was some random area code, and my luck with those calls is either a.) some recorded message informing me of some product no one wants, or b.) some stalker from Kansas. Not having too much appetite for either of the two, I sat watching my show for a few seconds before finally... I just gave in. Opened my phone, and didn't say a word. I figured, if its a recording, it'll just start and I can hang up. If its the stalker, well, I got plenty of shit to say to YOU (ps. caught you again you dingy runt, stop jockin my shit and seeeeeeeeeeeriously get yourself off the internet.)I'll refer to her as you because I know YOUR READING THIS....

Anyway, there was silence on the other end. I put the phone away from my face for a minute to check if it disconnected... and nope, definitely still on the line. So I said "(insert birth name here)" and the lady on the other side of the phone said " Hi (insert birth name here), this is Sargent Amlins from the U.S Army. How are you doing today?"

Wow. The abasement of the military. Waiting outside of cafe's, scavenging for scraps of people to recruit. Dumpster diving for quotas.

I can't blame them this time though. The times before when I had been walking through parking lots and stopped by recruiters were complete soliciting. One who was clearly trying to brand me and ship me off to Kuwait right there outside of Best Buy. Or the times walking on campus and seeing the little cardboard, fabricated illusion of 'a next step' sitting in the lunch area, handing out pencils and pamphlets and hope to students WHO WERE IN SCHOOL... trying to put them in a box. I would usually walk past that little lemonade stand and grab their pencils, throw them on the ground and say " The fuck you think I'm in school for??" I was a self protester at the time, and also... heavily into drugs that would keep the military away.

This time, I asked for it. I filled out my Army app. online the night beforehand and like clock work, bam- "Hi (insert birth name here), I'm Sargent Amlins..." And there it is. My first premeditated absolute hypocrisy. I've spent so many years of my life watching friends leave to Germany or Kuwait or Afghanistan, always looking at them like it was the last time. Savoring those 'last' nights of jibbering about old memories, like there was never going to be another time for it. I would lividly try to sway them else where. I would beg them to not pick being a turret gunner and just be foot infantry...

And now, I'm going to be a pawn. I have no regrets. I have no other choices right now. Its the Army... or a shelter. I could go to school and finish but I need my own space. I need some sort of area I can call my own and base myself for thinking and do homework and study and... well, I stay on someones couch. Pretty sure even if I thought this couch, just this couch, was considered 'my space'- I would be reassured real quickly how little say I have over anything in this apartment. Oh, the joys of living with someone more oppressive then a father.

Next Tuesday. 2 oclock. That's when I get to become a number and a date. And trust me when I say I'm not going in ready to be sold. I know those salesmen are there because they have to be. They also have to recruit so many people a month. The job has to suck. It has to be extremely pushy, and fortunate enough for me... I'm an asshole. I am also doing this, not because I believe in the war, but because I need the opportunity and the life experience. I'm going to straight up tell them to give me a 5 g sign up bonus, up front. I'm going to say I want to be shipped out west for Boot Camp, and definitely put me in Co-ed. Definitely. I'm going to twirl them around my finger and not let them shove me into a moneyless pit of resentment.

Hypocrisy or not, I am embedding myself into something current. Into something relevant. And I am going to get ripped, eat alot, write alot and most of all... be the most cynical soldier in the US ARMY. I know the policies, I know the role I'll play. And play it I will. With a smirk on my face and a pen in my pocket.

I hope to use my pen as more of a weapon in this war.