Fat Camp

I dont know how I got like this . Some may argue I was born this way. That my path was meant to escalate in falling cycles only to repeat itself and drop again. That my love life was meant to twist around fingers like car frames around trees in the winter night. Professionals have called them horrible accidents but I say I saw it coming. I felt the tracks of my tires slip. I could see the wall of trees and the seat belt loose. I initiated the heart aches, the loveless, the slopes slippery enough for me to slide on convincingly.

I'm fiendish for some inspiration. Itching. Grand mal seizures. I've been told to wait it out. That the air is coming I just need to be patient for breath. But I'm suffocating. Black and blue. Eyes bulging out. Like gettin blown on an elevator, this is fucking my brain up.

My internal revenue of emotions has dried up. I'm broke. I receive monthly disability checks from the universe telling me to repay my emotional debts. ASAP. Collection will come around next month again. I still dont have a job and I still dont have oxygen.

My personality has grown a mullet and wears AC/DC cut off sweatsuits. I've forgotten who the fuck I am.

I miss thinking that I know you.

A childhood pastor called today and asked if I had anything for the congregation to pray about. I told him to ask for some answers and I'll let him know if I get any first. Amazing race. And I even got shape ups over here. They dont work how they promote though. They make walking more difficult and my ass still looks fat and I can never seem to stand up straight anymore.

I guess I've been on hold this whole time. I'm getting sick of hearing this fucking lounge music. A short wait isn't months damnit. I'm tempted to hang up and just call my dope dealer.