Just an everyday thing

Born and raised in the zoo I grew up caged in an animal
the only language I speak
is between my family of cannibals.
Mechanical, tyrannical verses
spitting worse then camels
except mine look to hurt.
Coming out the gates now, move out of my way now,
I got coins in my pockets and I'll show
you how to make changes now
take some lessons and twist them into a message
dancing around minds like I'm one two
steppin and I'm not stopping
I'm just getting started
startin my lines off beat
d wade and king james,
i'm still bringing the heat.

and I'm speaking from a different place now,
much needed
lasso my mind back grab it back from outer space and
Spaceships cant find me, NASA gave up the search,
I took off from this planet after the last time I was hurt.
Blast me past drake and weezy, I'm in a different solar system.
I left some pieces of my self behind and I'm startin to miss em.
My pride, my ability to listen, the times I could come home
to a girl friend and a dog and kiss em.
Diss me if you want to, I got a tough shell.
Everyones walked over me
because I've living in hell.
Words are what I sell, but I dont get a profit
I smoke the rest of my shit
after I off it,
get off it,
this still isn't yours.
Swore to myself I'd never sleep with the lord
but I did lung fuck, a virgin to Mary,
lit her like a torch,
sat out side banging it out all night
just me and her on my porch
with a can of whip cream, some ballons and ghb
woke up the next day
and I couldn't even feel me.
Sick of feeling down, took 2 or 3 oxys
and let the trees look up at me.
I became a giant.
Full of silent manical viruses,
splitting time releases in half to get twice as nice
as I was yesterday,
and the day before that,
and last week.
Sometimes I couldn't even brush the crumbs of drugs outta my teeth.
I'm not flossing.
I'm not proud either.
It became a wound that I laughed at and picked at and watched it bleed
deeper and deeper,
put my mind in a sleeper
hold on the conscious,
I'll take a bit of this and some more of that till I get nauseous.
Its just
fuckin amazing.
But I had no clue what I was saying
or exactly what I was relaying through my actions,
the fuck is this? the attack of the addicts? already calling me back for his rations?
my rationale was in the gutter, along with my life
guarding my insides from admitting
this was simply just committing suicide.
Jokes, cliches. Dope and black out days.
Laying around lazy waiting for life to push me out of this maze,
unscathed, blind sighted and stumbling,
fumbling through insights and fighting through mumbles and
it didn't take long before people started to catch on.
Dude is a high on and his brains fucking gone,
speeding threw life, man, and he's barely hanging on
going along with the pace, the beginning has just began,
scraping bottomless dressers and basements trying to piece together bongs
trying to piece together highs
while escaping from my wrongs.
Mixing up my medicine, Grays Anatomy
I'm Dr. Haun but
I got my problems and I still live with my mom.
At least where she took her last breath,
told me she loved me
and went somewhere else in my arms.
I called it cancer from the don, the head master in disguise,
the universe threw curve balls at my life,
landing hurt in my understanding
of cost and
demand.
So I'm standing on my own,
lonesome and doing dope.
And every time I came down, I was putting knifes to my throat,
I'd be lying if I said I didn't know how that felt,
or how easy it is to tie your neck to a belt and jump off a chair,
dangle your feet in the air, gasping for air
giving me seconds to see if I still fuckin care.
I didn't.
I still dont.

And I'm still wondering when I will.