Today I was a good friend. I was up and ready to go take that fucking military test this morning (again, for the 20th time) and my brother asked me beforehand if I would drive with him to Ohio to buy a car.

I thought about it for a little. On one hand, I know I gotta get my life moving in some direction and if I take the ASVAB, my score is good for 2 years. It'd just be a positive thing to have in my back pocket when I make up my mind. On the other hand, I can take that test any Monday. And this car, that my brother had searched and been patient for and looked at different models and prices, could potentially not be there tomorrow. Likewise, he and I might not have time to get it even if it was still available.

So I decided to help him out and tag along on the most boring, LAME 'road trip'. Ever. Cleveland is like soft core porn. Just a let down. Who ever wrote the song about it rocking needs to go back and change it to sucking. Fuck Ohio. That state shouldn't exist.

On to other news, I've noticed everyone and their grandmothers sincerely think they are Americas Next Top Model. They dont even need the show anymore; apparently, all it takes is a camera and some facebook publicity and you can get chicks to get naked and sit on chairs with their asses out. I've considered doing this. Really.

Earlier, I was skimming through the smut posted by old friends and people I forgot about, and I noticed both my ex's ( whore uno and dos) have both taken 'professional' photos. And now, think they are god damn models.

I think its this city that just makes people want to go...anywhere... by any means possible. I'm in that boat. Shit, I'm thinking about throwing myself into a war I dont even fucking believe in just to go anywhere but here, while not focusing on my skill bank and my potential to do what I love instead. So I guess I can't say too much... but I'm still going to.

I dont know if these chicks fully understand what all the begging for votes and views and attention is going to get them into. Its going to bring them into an environment that will destroy them. Specifically, the ghosts in my closet. These chicks are... well... damaged. And not broken like I am; they haven't had they're hearts stabbed by a million other mens cocks.

That sounded very homosexual... what I meant is they've seen some stuff, yeah. But the majority of what they've dealt with has been inflicted by their own actions and mistakes and destruction. Its not like they were dumpster babies or raped or anything; they... fucked their own lives up. And now, when life turns the corner and they realize they have nothing else going for them besides their looks... they jump on the model bus and hope to ride it to hell.

And to hell they will go. Porn stars and strippers in the making. They are so psychologically disturbed and ruined that being subjected to rejection after rejection after rejection isn't going to make these girls stronger...

Its going to take their lives in a really bad direction. They are getting the gratification for being pretty, and 'sexy' and all the stuff they've always wanted and received by 'modeling' but... whats thats going to perpetuate? Thats just going to make these egotistic heart monsters become even colder. And even less sensitive. And even less intelligent. I mean, at least bring some talent to the table. A nose job and getting your teeth fixed isn't fixing the real issue. Getting a job at a strip club isn't fixing the real issue. THOSE PROBLEMS ARE IN HERE! And no ammount of photoshop or make up or distracting body parts is going to fill that void.

I hate being a dick. Its not something I enjoy. I'm a nice dude and I mean well and even with everything I just said- its all coming from a place of concern more so than a place of hate (even though I still want karma to fist fuck them somewhere down the line, thats not in my control, nor do I fixate on that happening). However, maybe this is their karmic debt. Maybe posting these desperate, cliche pictures and entering these little modeling contests is going to teach them some very needed lessons.

Whatever happens happens. I just wish more people would start focusing on their talents/ acquiring a talent rather than coasting through life with their fucking looks. I saw through the pretty eyes and the bodies. I saw the real people. And they need work. Alot.

Dont we all.