Imagine for a second

Life seems really durable sometimes. Like we can place it in our pockets, drop it where ever, and some how- still end up being okay at that destination. We'll still have breath. Our feet. We'll still have enough energy to wake up and do it all over again. Even if on most days, it seems like things couldn't get any better or any worse or any more complicated or crazy or confusing, life always has a unique way of showing us that it'll keep going

as long as we do. Beat up, heartbroken, tossed around and forgotten, we will continue to wake up.

A close friend of mine came back from Afghanistan this week. Its been nice catching up where we left off, going out and getting stupid with everybody. Always a good time. But the other night, as all of us were sitting out back watching the sun rise with our drinks, one of my boys asked if we had heard about Justin.

"You guys heard what happened right?"

"No, what do you mean?"

"Yeah, last week he got hit by a drunk driver. He died man."

Even though I didn't know him too well, that didn't take away from the fact that someone who we graduated with and played basketball with and walked the halls with is gone. Knowing the person doesn't change that feeling. It feels like loosing a piece of home. Like not being in control.

Life isn't always insured by breath and feet. After all, most of the time we are just not in control of what happens today. And that can be scary, but more importantly

this should show us that we need to appreciate the moment we are in. Good or bad.

Hanging out with my old family from growing up is always good. Just to see them and talk about where we've been and what we've seen and everything thats happened between now and then. Some things change. Some people change. But I realized that our demeanor with each other hasn't shifted a bit.

We still talk shit. Make fun of each other. Throw each other around and call each other faggots. As much as I love these individuals, theres something about that that just doesn't make sense to me.

Imagine for a second that another conversation wont happen. Another drink or moment with someone isn't possible. Not because you wont call someone back or you dont feel like hanging out with them today, but because they're gone. Thats always a possibility right? Theres nothing that says any one of us is going to make it out of today or tomorrow or next week. Nothing. As durable as life can seem, theres always those external forces that come into play. Disease, age, simply driving home from work... nothing says the people who you're close with wont fall victim to some bad shit. Now imagine for a second that the last thing you said to someone, whether it was last night or two years ago,

was making fun of them. You would have some major regrets right? You'd try your hardest to think back on good times and I'm sure you'd have plenty of them to focus on, but that last conversation would be extremely haunting. You'd wish you said something else, done something else, called the person back or gave them a hug. Anything but hurt their feelings and make them feel like you dont care.

My point is this: friendship is valuable. In every way. Theres not many things on this planet that can amount to or make up for a friend. Friendship is kind. It's helpful. It's necessary. Its not something you should have regrets about. Its not something you should neglect or abuse or hurt.

So be nice to each other. For fucks sake, be nice to your damn friends. There is no written code that says your friends have to be your friends. And underneath all this macho, "I'm not as gay as you" bullshit... you love your friends. You'd be shattered to lose them. I know I would.

I'm trying to practice being nicer to myself, as well as to the people I know. Kindness is the one thing that should be cooler than skinny jeans and v necks. It should be protocol for life. And its something I need to get more familiar with. I've gone through most of my life being a piece of shit. An angry, unappreciative piece of shit and I'm sick of it. It's done nothing for me. Its made people not like me and judge me and I'd rather be remembered as the nice kid who you played sports with and kept you company than that one kid who you just talked shit to.

So take down those walls. Show the people you care about... that you fucking care. It doesn't matter what kind of homophobic fears you have against showing your true feelings. This has nothing to do with your sexuality. It has everything to do with happiness. With life. With friendship and with your friends remembering you as someone

who fucking mattered.