I stumble across learning experiences daily. Everyone does, but a lot of people are too afraid or too stupid to understand they are happening. Open your fucking eyes, the date is changing. The world is turning. So here are some more tidbits of insights I've picked up in the past few weeks.
1. If a stripper asks you what your deal is, just smile at them. Sometimes you'll make the mistake of sitting up at the stage because your drunk and enjoy the current stripper. Just realize after that stripper, theres probably one that you will not like. She might be all bones. Or a man. However, its fucking rude to walk away. Fight the urge to tell them they just scared your penis. Simply smile and throw a dollar at them.
2. If there is anything your dreading to do, just do it already. The weight of anxiety and over thinking is far worse than actually doing it.
3. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Just because one person fucked your heart up or your trust up or crashed your car does not mean the next person will. Walking around with automatic walls is worse for you then it is for them.
4. You aren't entitled to shit. Remember, we came into this world with nothing but a family. And the lucky ones of us will leave the same way. Everything else is small matters. Including your god damn ipad.
5. Sometimes you end up hanging out with people you swore you'd slit your wrists before you see them again. It happens. The mark of maturity is what you do in that situation. Confront whatever past issue you had, either internally or with them, and move the fuck on. Dont be a bitch about it and leave and go cry in your car for the next 15 minutes because this dude slept with your girlfriend back in 10th grade. He probably saved you from more pain than you know. Thank him.
6. If you fall into my life somehow, understand that my heart has and will have a no vacancy sign above it indefinitely. If I catch any more creepy ass holes trespassing on or near it, I will have you shot.
7. If you ever wonder what life was like during prohibition, look around. If you ever wonder how eras transition out of prohibition, look around. We are witnessing a monumental movement in tolerance and acceptance right now and it is only going to broaden. Brace yourselves.
8. People dont change, they learn. If they dont learn, they're just pieces of shit. Slap them.
9. The best form of communication is with your mouth. If you ever catch yourself tweeting or texting or emailing more than you talk, you will realize how unfulfilled you truly feel with your social life. Just because facebook turned many of us from haters into likers does not mean this evolved bullshit is entirely positive.
10. Be thankful. I have recently developed a huge fear of losing one of my senses, mainly eye sight, and its made me understand how truly blessed I am. I have a great body that works how it was meant to. Most days, thats enough of a reason to smile.
11. If you label yourself open minded, stop having such a closed fucking mind. Seriously. I can't tell you how many people I've known who claim to be a free spirit or understanding or 'I love new things' and the next second, are shooting down any bit of relevant or new or different that comes their way. Have some self awareness. If you dont like it, you dont like it. But if you dont give it a chance because 'you know what you like' or whatever the automated response is, dont try to lie to yourself or me. I get it. I mean, me, myself- I've never really tried being open minded until about the middle of last year. But every time someone would ask what I was about, I would always say ' I'm really open minded'. Shit, I was not. Far from. I fuckin hated on everything that wasn't cool to me and that tended to be everything I didn't simply give a chance. But in the past year or so, I have gained not only a respect, but an admiration for almost all forms of dance, for every form alternative genre of music you could mention... except country, I hate that shit... but style and philosophies and mantras and actions and lifestyles and what I read and what I enjoy doing even, all shifted. And I'm not going to sit here and say I'm exponentially happier now or I'm an awesome person now or more wise or nothing. I will say that I've tried to be open minded and I can rightfully state that. Thats all.
Lastly,
12. Love your dog WAY TOO MUCH. For real. They're only here for a decade or so and we still end up loving them like children. So spoil the fuck out of them. Right? Let them take your spot in bed. Let them jump on you and squeeze themselves between the couch and your shoulder. Let them lick your fucking face! THEY ARE DOGS, thats how they love. Give them horrible delicious food every once and a while because honestly, food is 83% of their enjoyment. Right next to sleep and licking their genitals. I'd want to eat this pop tart too if thats the options I had.... Use tones and words that they love regularly, even if this means talking in a baby voice and saying 'Do you wanna chip???' or speaking complete jibberish. Fuck it. Also, dont discipline them for being silly. Its like giving a kid some adderal for being normal. They're doing dog stuff, let them do dog stuff. If they press your hand REPEATEDLY while its on the mouse and make you highlight everything you just wrote and replace it with ===-----====-=-=-==-=--==-===========-==-===-========-=-==
so what? they're just trying to tell you to stop being so serious. Laugh a little.
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