Things that are fucking awkward

Well, I have had an interesting past few days here in my world. I dont have any other way to really explain it. But I feel like I should make a list of really uncomfortable situations. Thats pretty much all I've encountered.

So to go along with the title, here are Things that are fucking awkward:

1.) Walking out of your room at 3 in the morning to your dad petting the dogs in the nude. I understand we are all animals and this is his home, but please... please... put some pants on.

2.)Seeing someone you know in the locker room at the gym. In any other scenario, going over to them and saying 'whats up' and giving them daps is acceptable but when I'm ass naked and bending over and trying to put my clothes on and you come over and say hey, could you at least wait till my junk is covered? Thank you.

3.) Going to a recruiting center wearing really flamboyant colors and a pink sweat band on your arm that says 'Boys make the best Pets'. I know D.A.D.T still exists but I totally didn't think about my choice of attire. Sincerely. And I'm not gay, I just wanna boogy to some Marvin.

4.) Becoming the third wheel in an argument. It doesn't take long before objectivity turns into being an object. I didn't sign up for this. I didn't wear my team colors for the occasion. I can't do much besides laugh at the intensity and the bold statements and hope for silence. Really. Ugh...

5.) Those first moments after having sex with your ex girlfriend. Yeah, it may have been great and fun and spontaneous and hot, but I'm pretty sure the last thing I should have said afterward was "That... was random. So now whats the rules?" Ahhhh... what did I do... I think I just gave my heart a one night stand. Er sigh...

6.) Asking an artist to tell you their insecurities to get a better feel of them, and then realizing that its not that simple and you will probably end up having to answer that question first. If you ever want to test your 'open book' policy, try this. If you like to have some sort of wall for protection and self, dont try this. I guess I'm a little more open than my dignity would like for me to be. However, I do have mad respect for the artist for listening and partaking in my exercise. It takes a lot to tell someone that you don't like yourself much. Or tell them you've tried to hang yourself from a pipe in the basement.

7.) Conveying to someone you've never met that you accidentally, sort of, kind of... fell in love with them... For a year. And they didn't know it. But you thought they did. But they had no clue you were breathing. And then you become addicted to their writing. And wake up every day hoping they posted a new blog for your emotions to dive into. And then you step back and put yourself in their shoes and think about how fucking creepy having a you out there would be. Ew... I hate that I'm one of those people. Lame. Shoot me.

8.) Discussing dick size with friends who thought you had a really small penis. Thats self explanatory... I lost my ability to have a good self image after having too many of those fights when things that shouldn't be said, are said. Hence, why I'm insecure. And why I dont like the way I look and dont go around saying I'm the shit and I'm awesome and I can conquer the world. However, if you were to take away all my scars... you'd probably ask me what the hell I'm bitching about.

9.) Walking in on someone in the bathroom. In general. Even if they're just brushing their teeth. You didn't open the door expecting for them to be in there. And they shut the door, expecting it to be a sign for weirdos, like myself, not to come in. But sometimes, when you're drunk and you forget other people slept over and you're not the only one in the apartment, you just gotta look at the person embarrassed, laugh and say 'Well, I guess that could have been a lot worse'. And then not make eye contact with them for a week.

and lastly

10.) Treadmills. Just treadmills. They're 6 by 3 personal bubbles stacked next to each other. And I always feel real paranoid when I'm on them. Maybe because I run barefoot and I crank up the speed to get my mile down to 6 minutes. But regardless, it just always seems the people next to me are trying to race me. And I constantly have this reoccurring feeling of 'Oh shit, I'm about to trip and hit my face on the electronics and fall and get launched backwards at 8 miles per hour at the poor people behind me who had to watch this happen'.

And this concludes my Things that are fucking awkward section. I think I covered everything.